My time at Loma de Luz has been a small lesson in reality. Eye-opening to what the future could hold for me. From what I have seen and learned this past year, it is more common, than not, for a surgeon to be the sole surgical provider at any given missionary hospital at any given point in time. It will therefore, likely be part of my future. I would anticipate this to become easier with time, but I'm not going to lie, the process of getting to that point is rather mentally exhausting. The prayerful support of everyone back home is felt and appreciated.
I was also helped by a reminder from Brother Lawrence this past week. From his fourth conversation: "We should offer our work to Him before we begin and thank Him afterward for the privilege of having done it for His sake." It caused me to relate to the surgical timeout. A process that varies from OR to OR, and here at Loma de Luz consists solely of a prayer. Offered by the surgeon; for me, it is routinely one of thanks and petition as well as a blessing for those in the OR in addition to me. But I was struck, chastised even, by the use of privilege in the above quote. Had I ever considered it a privilege to take care of each patient? A responsibility, definitely. A blessing, 100%. But a privilege, I'm not sure. I do believe that each individual God brings across my way is the reason I am here. I have felt Him say often, "Christy, help this child of mine." Whether I feel equipped for the surgery required is not factored into His request. Brother Lawrence got it spot on. This is indeed a privilege. I have since started including additional thanks for the privilege it is, to do each surgery for Him as part of my Time-out prayer, and it has helped calm the simmering waters.
September 15th was Honduran Independence Day (along with Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala and Nicaragua). They had initially told me no when I tried to book cases for that Friday. However, a visiting OB/GYN is here for this week, and due to his short visit they opened the OR for him. On Wednesday, one of the OR techs approached me to apologize and with a smile told me I could operate Friday if I wanted to. They may have regretted giving me that freedom, but I personally think it was divine intervention as less than 24hours later I had a full schedule for myself. Patient's needed that time in the OR. I was worried the OR personnel may begrudge having to give up their holiday, but the day went smoothly with no tension whatsoever. Looking back I ashamedly think I was failing at cross-cultural assumptions. There is so much to learn from other cultures.
Much Love.
Completely unrelated photo from a late afternoon bike ride to the beach! :)