A Rough Start

I'd like to say I jumped right in and got my hands dirty. But that wouldn't be true, and was not the case. I tried to jump, and found I had to sit down instead, literally.

Could it have been the three days of travel compounded by jet lag? Maybe.

The jet lag caught me by surprise. I had never really struggled with jet lag before, despite traveling to opposite hemispheres. I simply relied on the exhaustion to knock me out and the coffee to keep me going. So now that I'm not a resident anymore, I'm not as chronically exhausted, nor do I take near as much caffeine, if any. But for whatever reason, I found out just how annoying jet lag can be. I had finally laid down in my room in the guesthouse on the hospital compound, and despite being physically exhausted, I was unable to fall asleep. I finally gave up and read for a few hours and then tried again.

It set me off for my first day at the hospital feeling quite off balance. Tired, disoriented, unsettled, maybe even a bit lost. I had a premonition I wasn't right. I've fainted multiple times throughout the years. I've learned that the only thing more humbling than having to sit down during surgery, is actually falling down. The lightheadedness and blacking out occurs sporadically, usually without any warning signs. The last time, I had been a chief resident, and I had been preparing a vein graft for a bypass the moment it happened. The most benign part of the procedure. My first case at Hospital of Hope was a D&C for a lady who had a molar pregnancy. I literally was just looking at an ultrasound image the whole time, also incredibly benign. Thankfully I wasn't primary for the procedure and therefore I prophylacticly focused on my breathing and never stopped shifting so as to make sure my legs kept pumping my blood back up to my heart and brain. But alas, sure as my premonition, it wasn't enough. I tried to nonchalantly sit on a stool, but eventually had to swallow my pride and slide down to the floor, head between my knees. It usually passes in a minute or two, but this time it hung on with a vice grip for a long time. In the end, I drank some water, ate a piece of candy, it passed, and I got up and continued on. Perhaps a horrible first impression, but on a positive note, can only improve from here!

Much Love.