Grieving bananas

They had been purchased with the intent of making banana bread, and I had very much been looking forward to just that. However, due to busy weeks, a trip to Ceiba to restock supplies had been postponed multiple times and flour reduced to a few tablespoons despite multiple small supplemental bags purchased at the pulperia. Upon seeing the syrup starting to pool on the counter underneath the bananas, I was finally forced to admit banana bread was not in our immediate future, and moving from denial to anger I hastily deposited the overly-ripe bananas in the compost. Poor Jake had to then listen to me as I waffled back and forth between bargaining, depression and then back to anger for the subsequent hours as I regretted my hasty move, wishing I had found a way to utilize our bananas, or at least freeze them instead of immediate removal. But alas, I was not about to go scavenging through the jungle to rescue them back and so I did finally move on.

Dalia has not had such an easy time grieving this past week. I first met Dalia about a year ago, and at the time she had already had multiple surgeries for a broken leg at another hospital. Though amputation was offered and recommended, she wouldn't hear of it, and expressing her willingness to fight the long fight, we embarked on the long road to saving her foot and leg. Since then, it had thus far been a very long process, and multiple surgeries more. She remained positive through it all, understanding that we are all fighting this fight to keep her foot. Then this past week, she ended up back in the hospital with a fever and pain. Concern for infection I offered her four options. In short: 1) remove the hardware from the leg 2) debride the bone 3) continue conservatively as currently doing but add IV antibiotics and finally (I took a deep breath) 4) we could amputate. Scared as I was to offer her amputation again a year after fighting together to avoid amputation I am thankful God granted me the grace to do so. Her response was almost one of relief. In tears, she admitted that she had been thinking about amputation.

Grief and its stages have been present this week a bit more prominently than usual. From death, to loss of limb, to loss of time, to loss of bananas, grieving has been an unacknowledged underlying theme. Not my favorite type of theme for a week, and as embarrassed as I was to recognize I was grieving bananas, I am thankful His mercies are new every morning. We can buy more bananas, and Dalia can look forward to a prosthetic and finally walking again. Amen!

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lam 3:22-23

Much Love.